I’m a prisoner
Of words unsaid
Just lonely feelings
Locked away in my head
I trap myself further
Every time I stay quiet
I should start to speak
But I stop and stay silent
And now I’ve made
My own hard bed
Inside a prison of words unsaid

I am a P.O.W.
Not a prisoner of war
A prisoner of words
Like a soldier
I’m a fighter
Yet only a puppet
Mostly I only say
What you wanna hear
Could you take it if I came clear?
Or would you rather see me
Stoned on a drug of complacency and compromise
M.I.A.
I guess that’s what I am
Scraping this cold earth
For a piece of myself
For peace in myself

It’d be easier if you put me in jail
If you locked me away
I’d have someone to blame
But these bars of steel are of my making
They surround my mind
And have me shaking
My hands are cuffed behind my back
I’m a prisoner of the worst kind, in fact
A prisoner of compromise
A prisoner of compassion
A prisoner of kindness
A prisoner of expectation
A prisoner of my youth
Run too fast to be old
I’ve forgotten what I was told
Ain’t I a sight to behold?

A prisoner of age dying to be young
To my head is my hand with a gun
And it’s cold and it’s hard
Cause there’s nowhere to run
When you’ve caged youself
By holding your tongue

I’m a prisoner
Of words unsaid
Just lonely feelings
Locked away in my head
It’s like solitary confinement
Every time I stay quiet
I should start to speak
But I stop and stay silent
And now I’ve made
My own hard bed
Inside a prison of words unsaid

-A. Keys

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTshSpja0y8

You won’t relent until
You have it all

my heart is Yours

Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me
Until You and I are one

I don’t want to talk about You
like You’re not in the room
I want to look right at You
I want to sing right to You

the best thing on this earth is friendship.to know the meaning of if and to appreciate it.
in the last few weeks i have really felt the knife being pressed up against me.a lesson i have learned…true friends are hard to find.that’s the greatest thing you could be in this life…a friend.i dont think we really understand the meaning of that word!
anyway,i was hurt this week by people of course which is normal in this life unfortunately.and Im sure Ive done the same.i know realise the weight of my actions.which is great gives me the opportunity to be a better person..

rejection sucks I tel you!!but Id rather put myself to be rejected 100times then not to feel anything.

being a friend,is a choice we make everyday.even not making the choice to decide to be a friend is a choice.

Being a friend, you cannot do better than that!!!its impossible.any person especially Christian (you dont have an excuse, you know better?) who do otherwise, is tearing my heart into shreds. I know Im so guilty,probably the most guilty.we were put into this life to make friends of all people.

why are we here then?i guess its more of an identity thing? we got issues

all Im saying is the best thing on this earth is friendship.to know the meaning of if and to appreciate it and everyday, every second we are making the decision to be or not to be a friend.

taylor-mali-def-poetry-jam-ya-know.mp3

my kinda thing

Hmmm, I have to study for my exam on Monday but I’ll write this…

I just woke up from a dream. It was a sad.

there was this woman who I met I think we were applying for the same job not sure but we were in like a waiting room and I got the thing I came for and she didnt.and I knew she wasn’t going to get it. She was fragile, had dark colours and shy. She smiled though and had a beautiful heart.

Then I found myself at her house. I didn’t get there with her I just remember being in her house. The house was cold. You know how you would put your shoulders up and tense when its cold…well the house caused this reaction not because of the actual temperature but the feeling in the air. So I was feeling tense and yet I was drawn to this woman. I spoke to her and found out that she was being abused by her husband/partner - can’t remember if they were married. It was like she didn’t know that she was being abused. To her this was normal. She was kinda happy, well not happy but she wasn’t sad when I was speaking to her perhaps it was cause someone else was in her house. I guess she felt like she had a visitor. I remember saying “you know what he’s doing to you?…he’s basically like taking a knife and constantly piercing you then drawing the knife down to make an even bigger scare.” she was naive to what I had just said, I think all she was concerned about was that she had a visitor. I remember realizing that I’m not scared being here or feel like I’m judging her, that’s probably why she game me “the time of dayâ€?. I felt like she could be anyone of my friends that nothing really made me any different from her apart from knowledge. So I had my drink. We were standing in the kitchen. Then I went over to the guy and I sat down with him. I didn’t feel any hate or…? It was like having a conversation with any tom dick and Harry. I remember thinking that didn’t feel scared but I stopped thinking that just incase thinking about would make me feel scared.

We spoke about her and he was disgusted about the fact that she didn’t get the thing that we went to get. Actually, she didn’t tell him that she didn’t get it she just said that they’d let her know which was a lie. She just couldn’t tell him. For some reason it was common knowledge that they would tell you straight away what the verdict is so he was disgusted that this was the case for her.

I remember saying  “you know what you’re doing to her right?…you’re basically like taking a knife and constantly piercing her then drawing the knife down to make an even bigger wound. Your looks and stares, your words ands spits, your touch….”

“She is beautiful and you cloth her in ugliness because that is all you see. She becomes that and everyone sees her that way because of you. And know she can’t get anything because she is seen like you see her…with hate and disgust. You are hurting yourselves by hurting her because you won’t get anything back like this “thing” that you needed” 

I remember thinking that this man is angry. He is full of hate and resentment and does not know what love is, he does not know how not to be resentful. His actions are simply a reaction to the pain inside?

I remember deciding that I’m going to be his therapist (I was a bit worried thinking I need to get cameras etc)

The funny thing is that all this action felt normal to me. Acting to speak to the woman that felt normal. Telling her how beautiful she is, that felt normal. Going to speak to him was scary but that felt normal. Deciding to be his therapist that felt normal. None of these things…I didn’t have to sit down and weight the risks. I didn’t think about my wellbeing as such. Yea I was scared talking to the man but the action went ahead of my fear. I didn’t think of my kids or my husband (don’t know if I was married in my dream yet) I just remember just moving through it all.

All she needs is a friend who won’t judge her or feel disgusted by her. Who comes to visit her and that makes her feel normal. All he needs is love. That is powerful but was I willing to give that to him…I don’t know 

 Scary thing…! Although this was just a dream…I searched for the stats on the net. I wanted to know the reality if the unreal dream …”Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime.”

I want to fight for such a woman. I want to fight for her to the extent of actually doing something. That is the biggest battle. I want to fight for her cause that what Love did, hats what Love would do and I am an extension of Love. Just to visit her to make her feel normal. Can you imagine, when you visit her it’s like she’s never been assualted, like she’s never been raped - physically or emotionally. She doesn’t even understand what hurt is for that moment. A moment of hope.

I look at myself. I pray for these people. I cry for them. I am angry at such an assault, a rape to them, both the man and the woman. I cry and I ask God to help them. I cry cause I realize that He is in so much more pain than i. i ask for God to help them cause He wants to so much more than I do. I pray for “good” people to surround them. And then I look at myself and the question is asked…”what are you doing?” I am so busy with nothing!!!I really don’t give a damn.if I did my life would be so much different. Maybe I do care but not enough to do something…”actionâ€?. I choose my, what may seem like meaningless business over the hearts of the heart. I think I am “good” people but…?

I want to take that “but” away and have no “but”. Bringing myself to action, bringing myself to love because that’s what love is. Love is action

for God so loved the world that he gave, he moved into action and gave of himself, he gave his only son, that whosoever believed in him should not perish by being destroyed by hate, guilt and shame but have eternal life, life that is free, life that is free from hate, disgust, assault and rape of mankind, life that if full, life that is alive

May God help as…He has given all things…may we help ourselves by helping each other

I’m really interested in like going around people’s homes, or during University society/club events or what ever to… 

You know those woman, consultants should I day, that basically go around to people’s homes and they’d have like a party where 6-8 people come along and they give facials or samples of products for your face fir example. Well… I’ve decided that I want to do that. Use it as a way of reaching different people in the places where they are at. Its fun and you meet people 

The only problem I have is deciding weather I should do make up i.e. give advice about what colour goes best - clothing as well as make up and then spend the night experimenting with colours 

Or 

I could join an organisation that already exists “Temple Spa” (which I am amazed by not just for the ingredients but… The people who make them basically design them to be acts of worship. For example, you might have a facial scrub and they’d give it a name that’s one of Gods attributes. In the box they’d also be a like word of wisdom which will tell you about “cleansing”, emotion/spiritual and then relate that to how that effects your physical - your face etc. it might all sound a bit strange but they really do a good job at it. It’s exciting and weird at the same time). The consultant gives individual skin advice etc 

One way or another I’d have to earn something to get more products etc. and I’m a student who doesn’t know when next I’ll have any form of income coming in so… yea 

Maybe I should write a plan and see what people think

What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?
I’m trying to think of an example but not doing very well in that department. There’s this movie that I was drawn to and it still fascinates me. its called “Imagine Me and You” and thats where the question came from

Her beauty…is it the touch of her hands that comfort the heart, or is it her words, words that carry light, words that carry life.
She opens her mouth and her words break you, her words breaks the barriers of the heart and leaves you naked and defenceless but loves you with her embrace,

Warrior princess…She is beauty and she is love. She is love that wants you, all of you, the deepest part of your being. She is love that fights for you, that fights for the freedom of your heart.

Warrior princess…She is beauty, she is love, and she is excellence. She is excellence that inspires greatness and yes, inspires beauty .Excellence that calls forth the greatness within you and ushers you forth like gold.

Warrior princess…She is beauty, she is love, she is excellence and she is peace. She is peace that leaves you in awe and leads you to the secret quiet place where there is no insecurity, no shame.
Warrior princess…She is beauty, she is love, she is excellence, she is peace, and she is strength. She is a force that imparts strength, not any strength but her strength, a vulnerable strength. There is no need to try, she just is, she just is beauty she just is strength. Her beauty is power.

Beauty…she IS a warrior princess

Just wondering if you got any beautiful jewels

i got one of these from someone the the vox communit

not all who wonder are lost
Don’t mistake the slow strides of a lion for a coward